The ‘Fabulous’ Mrs Passi

Part memoir, part motivational tropes and philosophical learnings all at once, Shalini Passi’s debut tome is a ringside-view of her self-advertised “fabulous” journey. One got a glimpse of that fabulousness when the Delhi-based art patron/artist/philanthropist/socialite/reality TV star’s declaration on an episode of Netflix’s Fabulous Lives vs Bollywood Wives went viral: “The only reason I don’t hold grudges is because it affects my skin”. That line was equally admired for the sass and authenticity as much as it was dismissed for “reeking of privilege” or being “delusional”. Passi took all those comments in her stride, packed them all up in one of her limited-edition handbags and never bothered opening it again.

Until now. And in all fairness, if there’s anyone who has truly earned the tag of being fabulous, it is Passi. Her refusal to conform — not just in how she dressed and styled herself — but also in the way she went about life, dropping verbal gems such as ‘I like things more than I like people’ made her an enigma in the eyes of the viewers, who wanted to know more about her than just her uber-cool one-liners.

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However, if one is going to pick up the book expecting the same sassiness, one might feel a smidgen of disappointment. Passi seems to turn her gaze inward — given that it’s a memoir — reflecting and philosophizing on matters of the mind and soul, but the lines do not exactly carry the same punch one has come to associate with her. “People don’t talk enough about emotional food — but I believe we consume energy just as we consume meals,” she states at one point. When she speaks about wearing a Cleopatra-inspired ensemble, complete with headgear, for the charity M.A.S.H. ball, she says, “I wore it not as a costume, but as a mood, a declaration. It was my way of honouring parts of myself that don’t whisper. That is the beauty of style; it lets you choose both the volume and the message you want to convey.”

In the book’s 10 chapters, which she declares are ’10 rules for a beautiful life’, Passi gives readers a glimpse into her idea of the seemingly superficial concept of ‘fabulous’ and grounding it with the exposition of deep, personal values and transformative life experiences. She invites the reader into her world of haute couture, international holidays and expensive artworks, but also shares about her grandmother’s quiet grace, her school art teacher’s encouraging words and her husband’s unconditional support. She glides between all these worlds with a natural ease, but one which has been built over years of learning and unlearning, making mistakes and moving on, evident from her life experiences.

The initial few chapters seem to gloss over the life she has built for herself — getting married early to renowned industrialist Sanjay Passi, using clothing as a medium of unapologetic self-expression, using creativity as her life’s calling, her debut at Cannes and guest appearance on Bigg Boss. But it is the latter chapters, where she delves into the relationships she has nurtured with her grandparents, parents, husband and son, close friends Gauri Khan and Manish Malhotra and her connection with her home-city, Delhi, that you start getting a sense of the “whys” behind Passi’s choices, resilience and discipline. Her relationship with the divine is perhaps the most defining chapter, acting as the spiritual foundation for her philosophy of “fabulousness”.

There are moments that stay with you, when she talks about the time she shaved off her hair at the Tirupati Balaji temple as a form of “spiritual reset” or when artist S.H. Raza broke down in gratitude when she showed him a painting of his she had purchased, one he hadn’t seen in years. From her distinctive fashion style to her meme-worthy “grudges” comment, she addresses them all — at times, bordering on the defensive but ultimately saying, ‘This is me, take it or leave it’.

“Fabulousness begins when you stop looking for external approval. When you realize your voice is not meant to echo, it is meant to resonate,” she states. With The Art of Being Fabulous, Passi steps out of the shadow of a single sassy soundbite to stand as her self-assured self, inviting the reader to embrace their own unique ‘fabulousness’.